Back in action

After an unjustifiably long hiatus from blogging, I'm back and determined to post with a more reasonable frequency—one which is yet to be determined.

I know that in my last post I promised to talk about love, but I've changed my mind since then (don't fret my dear friends, the loooooove post will come eventually) since I have some other news to report.

Almost 8 months ago, on June 8, 2014, during a game against Estudiantes de La Plata in Buenos Aires, Argentina, I tore my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament), MCL (medial cruciate ligament), and meniscus in my left knee. I was then operated on just over 6 months ago on July 28, 2014 in Dallas, TX, USA. Despair, pain, and fear ruled my emotions, and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed infinitely far away.

Well, I'm happy to say that I've reached the other side of the tunnel, and the light is even brighter than expected. While missing out on some big games and international tournaments was certainly frustrating, through the surgery and rehabilitation process I know I was able to grow immensely, overcoming the physical and emotional hurdles which come with a such an injury.

I learned how setting and working diligently toward short term goals while maintaining the end goal in focus is essential to success. I learned how patience and trust in those with previous experience and wisdom (in this case the surgeon, Dr. James Montgomery, and the physical therapists at TOA/D1 Dallas who guided me through the process) is better than rushing and trying to do things on one's own. I learned how depending on family and friends in tough times is not a sign of weakness but instead a necessary reminder of how life is best lived in community.

Also, to everybody who encouraged me throughout these last 8 months, from family to friends (in the US, Argentina, Romania, and all over the world) to teammates to coaches to rivals and to those who don't fit into any of those categories, thank you. We tend to underestimate the power of words and their ability to influence for good or evil, but during my recovery, the messages of encouragement were invaluable to me, pushing me onwards even when things got painful, frustrating, or even repetitive and boring. So, to those who are at some point along the ACL rehab process, take this blog as just that, a word of encouragement to keep going even when you don't want to think about doing another leg raise or single leg squat.

Looking back, the months since my injury and surgery appear to have flown by, although I know that in the moment, the days seemed to crawl by at times. Now, finally cleared to participate in practices (non-contact for the first couple weeks), it almost feels as though I was never hurt, that I'm starting a new season just like the rest of my team, trying to earn my spot back on the field and working towards our goal of winning the league championship.

As of now the only thing I can report is that after a week and a half of preseason with my team (Club Atlético River Plate of Buenos Aires, Argentina), I feel just as I should: sore all over but happy to be playing again.

Long-Distance Support: Copa América Femenina 2014

September 11th was the opening day of the Copa América Femenina 2014 in Ecuador. For those of you who don't know, it's the South American Women's Soccer Championship, almost more importantly though, it's the qualifiers for the 2015 Pan-American Games, the 2015 Women's World Cup in Canada, and the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro. In case I wasn't clear enough, it's a BIG deal.

The format is completely different from men's World Cup and Olympic qualifying which are separate events. Men's South American qualification is drawn out over months of play where each team plays each other twice, once at home and once away. The men's Copa América is more for bragging rights than anything else. For the women, it's a brutal and brief tournament, with no room for error. The ten teams of the South American Football Federation (CONMEBOL) are divided into two groups, Group A and Group B. This year, you could say the split wasn't too even. Three of the top four finishers of the last Copa América in 2010 were drawn into Group B: Argentina, Brazil, and Chile, which are joined by a strong Paraguay and a not-so-strong Bolivia. Group A is made up of Colombia, Ecuador, Perú, Venezuela, and Uruguay; Colombia is the only team of that group to have qualified for a Women's World Cup while the others are still up and coming. Only the top two teams of each group move on to the knockout round where the winner of one group plays the other winner to decide which teams will face off in the final on September 28th. The first and second place finishers qualify directly for the World Cup while the third place team must play a play-off with a team from CONCACAF (The USA's federation). As the host nation, Brazil is already qualified for the Olympics so only one spot remains (if Brazil finishes outside the top two, only the first place team qualifies). The entire top four qualifies for the Pan-American Games.

After losing their first game against Chile 0-1, the Argentine women redeemed themselves with two solid wins, thumping Bolivia 6-0 (with a hat trick from my friend and River Plate teammate Mariana Larroquette) and holding off a resilient Paraguay 1-0, which has kept them in the running to finish in the top two of the group. Their hopes have been especially helped by a 2-0 Brazil victory against Chile on Thursday night, which also gives Paraguay a slight chance to make it through. If Argentina wins its last match, which will be against the ever-powerful Brazilians, they have a great chance at going through, though their fate still depends on the score of the other game on the last day: Chile-Paraguay.

Well, I don't want to bore you with all the details about Argentina's chances of classification, but I did want to point something out. Not even one of Argentina's games has been broadcast on television, not even online. It's truly something CONMEBOL should be ashamed of, and there's no other way to say it. The teams participating in this tournament—I'm going to focus on Argentina since I know most of the girls—deserve the support of their countries. I would be willing to bet that 99% of Argentina doesn't even know the tournament is going on right now, yet during the men's qualifying for the World Cup in Brazil, we can be sure that not only did 99% of the country know it was happening, but it also knew Argentina's status and actively followed the progress of their national team. The only ways to follow the women's games is by listening to a radio transmission or by social media; both of which are torture.

Nervous doesn't even describe how I feel each time Argentina plays. During the game against Chile, I almost tore all my hair out—okay, I may be slightly exaggerating, but I did consider it once or twice...—and the 1-0 scoreline against Paraguay kept me anxious for the entire 90 minutes. Supporting the team long distance, with extremely limited information, is not for the faint of heart. Maybe I would still suffer watching the games online or on television, but at least I would be able to come to my own conclusions about the game and not only have to believe what someone else thinks about each player's performance. I think I already scared my parents a few times celebrating a goal, growling from frustration, or yelling about a missed shot or a save by the opposing goalkeeper.

I admit that this post is a little all over the place, without a well-defined path, but I think it's a good representation of the transmission of information (or the lack of it) regarding this tournament which will decide the next four years for each national team participating. If you get anything out of this, let it be my support for the Argentine women. We're with y'all (sorry, a little Texan just came out...)!

VAMOS ARGENTINA!!!!!  

ps. I didn't forget about my promise to talk about the importance of soccer in Argentine culture... That discussion will soon arrive... I did, however, want to warn you that my next post is completely (or mostly) unrelated to soccer, but is all about my personal life, or my love life if we're trying to be precise...

Football and Friendship, what more does one need?

After reading my last post, it’s very possible, and even more so for those of you who don’t play soccer or have a direct connection with women’s soccer, you have been wondering why the heck does this girl care so much about soccer? Why does she get so excited about a sport that, even though it is the world’s most popular sport, at the end of the day is just a game?

I could tell you it’s because of the competition, the adrenaline pulsing through my veins when I make my way onto the field, shake hands with the opponent and wait anxiously for the referee’s whistle to signal the beginning of the match, the emotion which takes over after a spectacular save which leaves the opposing fans in silence after they had started to cheer just a second too soon, the feeling of pure joy after winning a championship, a clásico, a hard fought game. I could tell you it's because of the life lessons soccer offers such as hard work, dedication, healthy lifestyle, punctuality, patience, and sacrifice. I could even tell you it's because of the recognition which comes with being a female athlete, but then you'd really realize I would be lying.

I'm not saying that those are not valid motives, nor that they do not contribute significantly to my love for soccer, but none of them is the main reason—I recognize that love often cannot be explained by reason, but sometimes it can, as in this case. If my love for soccer was for any, or even all, of the reasons listed above, I would have stopped playing years ago; I might not have even finished playing out my four years of college eligibility. No, if it was for any of those reasons, I would definitely not be writing this blog, living in Argentina, and playing at River Plate; I would most likely be in medical school somewhere in the US, which my parents might have preferred, but that's another story... Anyway, why am I saying all this?

This past weekend, my best friend came to visit me, another player who, like me, is not yet ready to hang up her cleats and leave the game behind. We met at my first college, the University of South Florida, where I studied and played for two years before transferring to Rice University (no it's not named after the food...). We weren't close friends from the start; it took a little while for us to realize we had a lot in common: our faith, our way of thinking, goals, values, sense of humor (okay, I would like to think that, but the reality is she's way funnier than I could ever hope to be), among many other things, but on the field, the situation was completely different. She was our starting defensive center midfielder, was named captain her freshman spring, and was a consistent figure for the team throughout her four seasons while I mainly maintained a marginal role, on the sidelines if you will, as the backup for our ridiculously athletically talented starting goalkeeper. Despite the differences in our college soccer careers, we became friends, and, since then, our friendship has continued to grow. I consider her my sister, a blessing from God, and we are united by an intimate bond which I'm sure will last a lifetime. 

Well, all this to say that, in my opinion, what makes soccer so special are the relationships which are born and cultivated through it. I use my best friend as an example but I could tell you countless stories of other footballing friendships and relationships which have influenced and molded me in some way.

I remember goofing off with my high school soccer teammates at practice and on road trips, hanging out with my sister who was also on the team and realizing she was actually not as dorky as I had imagined but really one of the wittiest girls I've even known (don't get too cocky while reading this, Vanessa...).

I remember how at Rice, despite having a miserable soccer career and experience—easily the worst two years of soccer of my life—I met friends, professors, and mentors who inspired, challenged, and loved me and continue to do so today.

I vividly remember taking off from the international airport in Buenos Aires in 2011, leaving behind my second time training with the Argentine Women's National Team. I can picture the scene exactly, looking out the window at the endless city lights illuminating the pitch black with tears rolling down my cheeks, not because of the disappointment of not being able to continue training with the national team due to complications and delays in the citizenship process but because of the pain of leaving the girls behind, especially not knowing when, or if, I'd see them again (now there are a few I see too often at River... I'm just kidding, I love them and they are a huge blessing in my life).

Even more recently, it's impossible not to mention the support my teammates at River have given me since my injury through messages, hugs, and a even huge banner held before the first match I had to miss. I know I can count on them through the whole rehabilitation process until I'm back on the field. They're my millonaria sisters ("millonario" is a nickname for players and fans of River).

It's moments like these which come to my mind when I think about soccer, even more so than images of games won or lost, than the fleeting feelings of frustration or joy, than memories of innumerable training sessions and matches. Friendships are the essence of soccer, and I thank God for having given me the opportunity to meet and learn from so many amazing people through this beautiful game.

Missing my teammates, can't wait to celebrate with them on the field again soon! (photo credit: Guillermo Larroquette)

What it means to play soccer as a woman in Argentina... Straight from the horse's mouth

Well, after a year and a half (a little more if we’re going to get all legalistic about it) of talking so much about myself, about my life, about my knee, about my rehab, about my musings and meditations, I’m tired of hearing about me, and I imagine you are thinking the same thing. So, today I’m blogging a little differently, I’m going to let some other voices speak, let them tell about what they see and what they live. If you’ve read past posts of mine, you most likely already know what I opine in regards to women’s soccer in Argentina, if not, I’ll provide a quick recap of my thoughts and observations.

Women’s soccer is a sport which is surprisingly underappreciated in a country where the men who play professionally receive so much recognition through wealth and fame. As children, in physical education classes, in recess, and even in their own backyards, the boys are always given a soccer ball and the girls... a doll. A girl who plays soccer is a rarity, an odd specimen among Argentine women. Often, when people find out you, as a “nice young lady,” play soccer, they are left momentarily speechless and stare at you with a look of surprise and astonishment, which takes a little while to fade.

 “But it’s such a violent sport!” they protest.

 “Aren’t you too feminine to be a soccer player?” they ask.

“I would never allow my daughter to play soccer. No, she’ll play a much more elegant and less manly sport, like field hockey,” they declare, as though you had asked for their opinion and as though field hockey were somehow non-violent when essentially it’s soccer played with wooden sticks and a solid plastic ball more than capable of breaking noses, to which my cousin can testify as a former victim of a field hockey ball.

During my short playing stint in Argentina, I’ve been able to observe how women’s soccer is a true counterculture. Despite cultural and social norms, players continue to fight against the current, not necessarily in search of recognition and acceptance but instead they fight for their own space where they can enjoy the sport they love and where more and more girls will also have the opportunity to participate in such an important aspect of Argentine culture.

photo courtesy of Guillermo Larroquete

A few days ago, it occurred to me that maybe I don’t know everything it means to be a woman playing soccer in Argentina (I know, crazy right? But even so, it did cross my mind...), and I began to ask myself... How can I better understand women’s soccer in Argentina and how can I transmit a clear and accurate representation of something which in many other countries just isn’t seen? That’s when I got the idea to consult the experts, the players themselves. Luckily, it wasn’t too hard to find my little guinea pigs, my (lovely) teammates at Club Atlético River Plate.

So, I asked them, “What does it mean to play soccer as a woman in Argentina?” I admit that my question was deceptively simple. Despite being composed of so few words, the answer required deeper reflection and consideration due to the ambiguity and open nature of the question, which left lots of room for interpretation. I like to think the underlying complexity of the question was what made some of my teammates take longer to respond, but I have a creeping suspicion that they were probably doing their best to ignore my inquiry as I have quite the reputation as the annoying girl who asks existential questions when all anyone really wants to talk about is what they ate for lunch.

photo courtesy of Guillermo Larroquete

Anyways, while I sit here sipping mate (see prior posts for an explanation of this highly-caffeinated traditional drink) trying to bring a piece of Argentina to Yanquilandia, the USA for those unaccustomed to the cultured Argentine vernacular,  I’ll share with you my translation of the varied responses, some longer than others but all incisive and perceptive, of my wise fellow “millonarias.” (Millonarios is the term used when referring to players or fans of River Plate due to the clubs original association with the Bourgeoisie of Buenos Aires. The nickname stuck throughout the years, however, despite its vast popularization and recent financial crises.)

Luana Muñoz (defender): Being a women’s soccer player in Argentina means giving a lot of effort, loving what we do, the word sacrifice stands out above everything else. Complete sacrifice, nobody gives you anything, on the contrary. Most of the time it’s fighting against the current, knowing that most likely nobody is going to recognize anything you do, but it doesn’t matter; pure perseverance, that’s what it’s about. Despite all the beatings (excessively) we face along the road, nobody nor nothing stops us, that’s the way it is here. We know we can grow, it’s purely and completely on us to do it, change starts from within.

Micaela Sandoval (forward): Playing women’s soccer in Argentina teaches you to fight for your dream, to overcome obstacles, and never to put your head down. I, as a women’s soccer player, have complete confidence that one day we will receive what we deserve. In women’s soccer, one can see the true love of the game, the passion for the ball, the exertion of pure heart, and the sacrifice down to the last breath. Honestly, I feel proud to play soccer and even more so to play in my country, Argentina.

Ludmila Manicler (forward): Love of the art. Sacrifice and, for many, leaving a ton of things behind. And even though it’s amateur, we play it like professionals.

Ayelen Lagos (forward): Love, sacrifice, happiness, and responsibility... giving everything for soccer and to be professionals, not for the money but to be faithful to this love.

Carolina Morcillo (defender): Women’s soccer in Argentina is breaking “assumptions that women can’t do things.” It’s sacrifice and passion.

Florencia Ferrero (forward): Playing soccer in Argentina is all sacrifice, it’s setting a ton of things aside. It’s giving so many other things away just because we love what we do. For us, it’s simply a passion. We don’t do it for money or for any other economic motive. We love what we do.

Mariana Larroquette (forward/midfielder): Sacrifice, the thrill of trying to achieve objectives in the few years we have to play since we aren’t professionals.

Florencia Salazar (defender): Well, for me, playing soccer in Argentina is beautiful and even more so at the club where I am, but it comes with its difficulties! Even though here they don’t see it like they do in other countries, one can tell that it’s growing! And that is thanks to the sacrifice and effort of the players and the coaching staff because they take it seriously! And they leave behind many things to be able to train and grow! I believe the true soccer can be seen in women, where there are no business interests! There is no money to get in the way because the women play with heart, leaving everything on the field, defending the club’s crest, and enjoying it, which is the best part!

Mercedes Pereyra (midfielder): And for me, I don’t know what it means, if I do it it’s because I love soccer and because I know I make my parents proud.

Karen Spiazzi (defender/midfielder): Women’s soccer in Argentina is completely amateur, which the girls do for the love of the game, dedicating their time, leaving many things behind, even leaving their families in many cases because they travel from the interior of the country to the capital to achieve their dream. It’s a big sacrifice, but it fills your soul.

Vicky Pinat (midfielder): For me, it’s playing for the love of art, it’s a passion in every way because it is played without receiving anything in return other than satisfaction and enjoyment; it’s really about what it’s worth to play the game, not for money but for what it makes you feel. It’s playing with heart.

Anonymous: Soccer is the reason why I sacrifice daily to improve as a player and as a person even though we have to leave many things behind despite it being an amateur sport.

Carla Brown (the best position combination... goalkeeper/forward): Sacrifice, passion, and exertion.

Eliana Figueroa (defender/midfielder): Being a women’s soccer player is part of a passion and at the same time a beautiful game I love to play with a team, where one participates in great experiences. One learns to wait, to overcome oneself, to be consistent, to persevere, to have good habits among other good things. Women’s soccer in Argentina is about personal sacrifice and the resulting benefits, which sometimes come in the form of a great game or the opportunity to play at another club, but always knowing that it’s from the heart, that we can’t live off of it but even so, day by day we go to sleep and wake up thinking about soccer. We enjoy it a lot, that’s what it’s all about.

photo courtesy of Guillermo Larroquete