If I had to name three of the worst jobs in the world, I think being a bus driver, colectivero, in Buenos Aires would certainly make the list, if not top it. Not only does a colectivero have to maneuver the perilous and overcrowded streets of the capital and its surroundings, but he also must deal with the wild creatures who reside there.
The bus, or bondi, is the transport of choice for a grand majority of porteños for a variety of reasons. There are over a hundred lines, oneof which will get you where you need to go, whether it's in the heart of the city or in a "suburb" 3 hours away. Traveling by bus is also extremely cheap, the average trip costs about 20 cents (in US dollars). The best part, for those who have a car, is not having to worry about finding parking or, worse, about not finding your vehicle where or how you left it.
Taking the bus is not, however, all rainbows and unicorns. It can be a stressful experience filled with exasperating waits in never-ending lines; being squished between sweaty, obese, smelly men; and 20 minute trips converted into hour-long voyages by unannounced protests, strikes, and other unforeseen circumstances. In these less happy moments, often passengers will take out their wrath on unsuspecting colectiveros, who may or may not be innocent in the situation (there are some bus drivers who enjoy driving passengers crazy in different ways which include but are not limited to slamming the brakes at every opportunity, accelerating to the point of causing passengers to lose their balance and even fall, and not stopping completely to allow passengers on or off). For bus drivers, their line of work is a pretty thankless and, ironically, lonely job. The colectivero, even while driving a bus full of passengers, is basically alone. Very few times will passengers engage in conversation with the driver for more than a few seconds. Most passengers won't say more than the fare they need to be charged when they first get on the bus (even a greeting, please, and thank you is a rare event, usually received very gratefully by the driver). Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't seen more bus drivers react violently in response to the stresses of the job. Today, one bus driver, a fairly young fellow, my aunt estimated his age to be slightly over 30, reached his breaking point, and, thankfully for us, my aunt was able to witness it.
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| Waiting for the bus is fun! (from Clarin.com) |
She boarded the bus as usual and found a seat near the front, close to a young woman with her baby who looked upset about something. About three or four stops later, while more passengers were boarding, the bus went silent as the driver began to argue with a young man, a pibe (pee-beh) as the Argentines would say. Apparently, his SUBE, similar to a metro/transport card which is used to pay bus fares electronically, was not functioning correctly. The bus driver told him to pay in coins, but the pibe didn't have any. When the driver told him to get off, the other passengers quickly jumped to the pibe's defense, offering him all the change he needed and more, so much that he couldn't hold it all in both hands. For one reason or another, this didn't fly with the driver. The pibe tried to pay, but the driver refused to accept the coins, "NO. I don't care that you have the money, now. Get off my bus."
"He has the coins now, just let him on!" argued the other passengers.
"No. No. No. He has to get off.."
"Just let him pay! Let him pay with the coins and let's go!"
After a few more rounds of arguing, the driver declared, “No. If he’s not getting off, then I’m getting off” and proceeded to open the front door, turn off the engine, and get off the bus, despite the protests of the passengers. While the passengers looked around at each other in disbelief, the driver sat down on the curb and began to fiddle with his cell phone.
At this point, some passengers, most likely the ones who were in a rush, got off the bus and began to wait for another one to come. Others stuck around to watch the show while a few joined in the action. One passenger, an average sized woman of about forty years, made it her personal mission to make sure the driver would understand the error of his ways. "You can't just treat a young mother and her daughter like that, yell at a passenger for not paying with his own coins, and then tell the rest of us to get on another bus! I'm calling the police!"
Her threat didn't seem to bother the bus driver particularly as there wasn't much the police could do about the situation anyway. "Go right ahead," he responded coyly.
"I'm going to call the bus company!"
"Already did. They're on their way," grumbled the driver through his teeth.
"I'm staying here until they get here, you ******, *******, ********!!!" And she went on to give him lesson in Argentine curse words and insults until my aunt got tired of waiting around and watching the debacle and got off the bus to take the next one. While the woman was haranguing the bus driver, the other passengers wondered out loud why no man had said anything. One male passenger quickly and wisely stifled this questioning of his manhood by explaining how if he or any other man had said anything to the driver, the confrontation would quickly have escalated to an all-out brawl. For the moment, the driver, who was possibly looking for a fight, was unable to take out his anger physically due to the female nature of his only adversary. Eventually, everybody, except for the "harangatang" lady, got off and tried to go about their business on another bus with a hopefully more emotionally stable driver. (I get the feeling that even if the driver had gotten back on the bus to drive, not many passengers would have been keen on riding with him for fear he might find his way off the bridge joining Avellaneda and City of Buenos Aires and into the Río de la Plata.)
I'd be willing to gamble that tomorrow, the 100 bus line will be putting out a help wanted ad...
URGENT: Bus Driver needed.
Requirements: Drivers license, union membership, and sanity.
Preferably with experience.
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| (http://ar.fotolog.com/bondis_piolas/51645085/) |
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